


Remember Us

by MicrowavedOrange



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-01
Updated: 2017-05-01
Packaged: 2018-10-26 02:50:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10777938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MicrowavedOrange/pseuds/MicrowavedOrange
Summary: One of the unforeseen effects of The Spear is that now, Sara remembers Doomworld. Most importantly she remembers Amaya and she remembers that they were in love. Amaya doesn't remember the atrocities they committed in Darhk's name, but she also doesn't remember their quiet morning spent together. Sara hates herself even more for wishing she did.





	1. Back

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfic and all criticisms and recommendations will be taken into account.

Amaya didn't remember what had happened in the Doomworld reality. A name that Nate and Ray had insisted upon, probably to go with The Legion of Doom. It sounded... silly in a way, an entire reality full of pain and suffering all summed up in that name. It felt strange. She was the only one on the team who remembered what happened in Doomworld, sure the others knew the highlights, the reality gun, Ray's janitorial job, Stein and Jax being separated. Snart killing Amaya.

What they didn't know was the shocked look on Amaya's face. The way the ice crept across her body. How Snart tapped her and the way she shattered. The moment Amaya shattered, Sara did too. Instead of dying though, she got angry, she got pissed, she got furious. Because even though they were Darhk's lackeys they were still... people, and they had fallen for each other.

Then they went back and Amaya was there again. Alive and smiling and not frozen at all. She was talking to Nate and Sara's heart broke again. Doomworld Amaya was the one she had been with, she had to accept that. At least, she had thought, she wouldn't have to suffer much longer. After all she would cease to exist soon.

But it didn't happen that way, because she did remember. It was because of The Spear she and Rip had decided. She had talked to him as they boarded the Waverider to leave to LA. She supposed it made sense in some cruel reality twisting way.

The others must have noticed a change too. They acted differently around her, Ray had been the first one brave enough to ask. They left LA soon after arriving to go to the Temporal Zone to try and contact Rip again.

Everyone was on the bridge standing around just staring off. Stein was worriedly talking to Jax about Lily in the corner while Mick sat on the steps to Rip's office drinking a beer. Ray, Nate, Amaya, and Sara stood around the console staring down at the center. It was quiet save for Stein and Jax and the occasional time Nate or Ray would start to say something and decide against it. An idea that wouldn't work.

Things were tense, everyone knew she remembered but no one would ask, until Ray spoke up.

"Maybe... maybe if we know more about the Doomworld we can figure out some of the things that went wrong? We can start from there, I'm sure we'll figure something out." Ray's voice was as chipper as ever but his eyes and everyone else's were now trained on Sara.

Stein and Jax had stopped talking.  
Sara had become tense the moment Ray started talking, she knew he was curious and wouldn't be able to leave it alone. She was stiff as memories flashed through her mind. All the pain and darkness, but it was briefly interrupted by comfort and light. Amaya's face flashed across her mind and she shook herself from her thoughts. They were still watching. She hated it but Ray was probably right, she might not even need to mention Amaya, or Felicity.

Sara sighed defeated and sat down in her captains chair spinning it to face the rest of the group, motioning for everyone to sit down.

"Alright Ray. What is it you need to know?"


	2. Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sara remembers what it was like in Doomworld.

"Alright Ray. What is it you need to know?"

"I'm not sure really, I mean anything could make the difference in fixing time."

"How am I supposed to help you then?"

"Well... what do you remember?" Sara's eyes moved slowly across the crew before landing on Amaya. They held there for a moment before flicking back to Ray.

"I don't remember everything. I don't know about everything that changed, but I still remember more than I want to. I remember moments and events, but what I really remember are feelings. What it felt like to do some of those things. To see them." Her eyes move back to Amaya before she can stop herself, "Very few of them are good, but even those are bad somehow." Ray gave Sara that smile the one that's almost a grimace. The one where he looks pained and pitying. But pity was not something Sara wanted. She had gotten plenty of pity and people stepping on eggshells around her when she had returned to Starling City and she was done with it.

"Did, uhm, did anyone besides Amaya die, anyone else important? People that are alive in our reality?" Sara gave a small nod, remembering Darhk's case of masks, remembering Felicity.

"Who?" Nate decided to speak up and was now leaning forward in his seat.

"Flash, Green Arrow, Spartan, Wild Dog, Ragman, and whatever Felicity's vigilante name was."

"Darhk killed Felicity?" Ray's smile fell from his face replaced with an angry glare.

"No," Sara hung her head, "I did."

"What?"

"I killed Felicity. Darhk made me and Amaya his hero... hunters. We captured her," Sara waved her hand between herself and Amaya, "He ordered me to kill her, and I did. I... I snapped her neck." Silence overcame the bridge again. Ray had slumped down in his seat. Amaya was now staring down at her hands.

"Look, it doesn't matter now. Felicity is alive, you and Amaya didn't kill her. Not in this reality." Mick spoke up, "We need to find Rip, not worry about that. Unless it comes up let's just leave Doomworld in the past." Sara gave Mick an appreciative look before telling everyone to start thinking of a way to find Rip while she went to the library.

Sitting in the quiet library Sara stared at the open book on the desk rereading the same sentence over and over again, remembering what it was like in Doomworld. She remembered the terrible things, the people she killed, her friends. She remembered Thawne making a speedster gun and having her shoot Barry with it. She remembered how angry and scared he looked when she killed him. She remembered grabbing Olivers bow and shooting him with it. She remembered snapping Felicity's neck. But that wasn't what she wanted to think about. Instead she thought of Amaya. The smiles they shared, the kisses they'd had. Waking up with Amaya next to her, the early morning sun falling over her face. Amaya doesn't remember those mornings, but that means she also doesn't remember all of the atrocities they committed in Darhk's name. Sara hates herself even more for wanting her to.

Tears begin to sting the corners of Sara's eyes as she quickly blinks them back. Why is she even crying? Before Doomworld she had never thought of Amaya like this. Sure, she recognized how beautiful she was, but she didn't expect anything to happen, nor did she particularly want it to.

A soft knock on the door frame snaps Sara back into reality. Amaya is leaning against it looking worried, "Hey, are you okay?" Sara nods and smiles, although she knows it's anything but convincing. Amaya rolls her eyes and pulls a chair up to the other side of the desk so that they're sitting across from each other.

"Any luck finding Rip?"

"No, and don't try and change the subject. What's wrong? Everyone knows that you-we weren't in control, they don't blame us, they blame Darhk."

"I know. Don't worry about it Amaya."

"Sara," Amaya reached her hands across the table taking on of Sara's and holding it, "You can talk to me, you know that right?" Sara nodded, she couldn't bring herself to look Amaya in the eye. Holding her hand, feeling her hands, warm and much softer than Sara's own.

They didn't often hold hands in Doomworld, at least not in such an obvious way. Sara remembered anyway. Lacing their fingers together as they lay in bed. Amaya brushing her thumb over Sara's callouses. But that wasn't real. None of it was real, at least not anymore.

"Sara?"

"Sorry. I was just thinking."

"About Doomworld." It wasn't a question, but Sara nodded in affirmation. "Do you... want to talk about it? Not, not like way before. I can just listen." Sara's heart felt like it was slowly being crushed, a stinging pain radiating across her chest.

She wanted so desperately to talk to Amaya, not even about Doomworld, but anything any excuse to interact with her. Sara opened her mouth, but snapped it shut immediately. If she started talking to Amaya she wouldn't be able to stop herself. To keep herself from telling her everything, to keep from telling her how much she loved her. Amaya was looking at her differently now. Her head was tilted to the side and her eyes had narrowed slightly. Sara could feel her gaze drilling into her, she knew Amaya could tell that Sara was holding back. That she wanted to say something.

"Okay. When you're ready, if you want to talk I'm here." Amaya stood and walked out of the library back to the bridge. Once Amaya was gone Sara stood abruptly and walked to her quarters.

Inside she closed the door and ordered Gideon to lock it behind her. She leant against the wall and slid down to the floor holding her face in her hands. She let the tears fall as she cried. She missed her, she missed holding her, kissing her, loving her. She hated it. She had no right to miss her, it wasn't this Amaya. 

As she calmed down she thought of her options. Confess, definitely not. Act normal and cry everyday one she was alone, not preferred. Or she could do what she did best. Suppressing her feelings, pushing people away. It would hurt like hell and things might be awkward for a while, but eventually she'll stop loving Amaya. Hopefully.


	3. Vanishing Point

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait! I kept getting interrupted :/

An hour later Sara sat on her bed sharpening her knives, each one no longer than her hand or thicker than her fingers.

"Uh, Sara?" There was a knock on the door and the muffled voice of Ray could be heard.

"Gideon, unlock and open the door please." Ray stood awkwardly in the hallway. Sara had yet to look up and was continuing to sharpen and organize her knives.

"We have an idea."

"What is it?"

"Well, we don't know how to contact Rip yet. But we thought that... we should head to The Vanishing Point. Time won't pass the same there so... we can take our time."

Sara nodded and began putting away the knives, "Go make sure everyone is ready to jump."

"Okay... hey, are you alright?"

"I'm fine Ray, now go." Ray nodded and scurried off towards the bridge.

Everyone sat strapped in on the bridge as Sara walked out and sat in the captain's chair, "Gideon, set course for Vanishing Point."

"Right away Captain."

'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

It was strange to be back at The Vanishing Point. The eerie silence that first overwhelmed the area was quickly pushed back by the crews bickering and jokes. They had decided at least two people needed to be on the Wavrider at all times to make sure nothing happened and to keep tabs on everyone.

Stein had suggested they all have an assigned 'watch buddy' and offered to organize them. He paired Ray with Nate, Sara with Amaya, and himself and Jax, leaving Mick without a partner. Jax argued with Stein for at least half an hour, finally managing to get the older man to cave and agree for Mick to be with them. Jax's argument being that he and Stein would only be one person if there was an attack.

Sara was less than happy about the groups Stein had chosen. Having to spend hours at a time alone with Amaya would throw a wrench in her plan. How could she ignore her and block her out if they were the only two people on board? Sara was more than capable of handling long periods of silence, but Amaya preferred communication and interaction.

They decided on switching out at 3 hour intervals. Not too long. Gideon offered to randomize the order of which groups would go when the first time, and then they could use that as the schedule.

Sara held her breath as everyone agreed. She definitely wanted time to collect herself before she had to spend 3 hours with Amaya, some fresh air might do her some good.

"It looks like Mr. Palmer and Mr. Heywood will be taking the first shift. Captain Lance and Mrs. Jiwe are next, and then Mr. Jefferson, Rory, and Stein are last." Sara's sigh of relief was hidden by Nate and Ray's groans of disappointment.

Stein spoke up as they were getting off the ship, "We should stay in our groups while we're out here so we don't have to find each other before heading back to the ship."

Sara barely bit back a yell as she nodded. If she ever wanted Stein to keep his mouth shut, now would definitely be the time. She nodded and stepped off the ship, Amaya following close behind.

 

  
Sara and Amaya had found what seemed to be the main room of the Legion of Doom's operations. Amaya glanced over the computers as Sara drifted towards the swords, memories flashing behind her eyes. They weren't of Doomworld for a change. This time they were of The League. Many of her scars were given to her by blades like these.

She picked one up and swung it experimentally. The blade was unsurprisingly well balanced, it was from the League after all. Amaya stepped forward to stand besides Sara.

"You look like you've used it before."

"I have. These were one of the blade types we used in the league."

"Right. You're an assassin... or you were one."

Sara nodded at this at out the blade down, "We should keep going. We can look more in detail later but for now I just want to map this place out."

"Okay." Amaya doesn't say anything else, although Sara can tell she wants to. She wants to know what she left unsaid, wants to hear her voice. But that would just make everything harder.


End file.
